Ron and I had only been married for two years when his brother, John, and sister-in-law, Kate, had been in a tragic car accident. The police pronounced them dead at the scene, and suddenly Ron and I became parents before we could even have our own children. I was angry: at John, at Kate, at the drunk driver who hit their car; but mostly, I was angry towards Jayden. He’d stolen my chance of my own first child away, and I couldn’t find it in me to love him.
I let my anger at not having my own child grow and I took it out on Jayden. But maybe, Ron had a point. I thought back on the times Ron and I would babysit for Kate and John and we’d take Jayden to the park and swing him on the baby swings, his blond curls bouncing in the wind, giggling the whole time.
I snapped back to the present and thought of what Ron had been saying for over a month: Jayden was happy with us, and he loved us as if we were his real parents. Perhaps it was about time that Ron and I talk with everything out in the open and with no more bottled up emotions.
“Ron!” I said running down the hall to our bedroom, “Ron, I’m sorry!”
I opened the door to our bedroom, but Ron wasn’t inside. I sprinted to Jayden’s room, but no one was there either. I ran through the house frantically, checking everywhere from the garage to the basement. They were gone. My world was spinning again, and this time I felt nauseous. Silent tears streamed down my face, as I walked in a numb stupor to the kitchen.
I grabbed a glass and filled it with water from the sink and sat down at the table. I took a sip and stared down at the table. A piece of notebook paper with Ron’s chicken scratch sat in the middle. I picked it up and read:
I’m sorry I was so short with you. I understand that this situation is stressful. It’s stressful for both of us, but try to hang on. We can do this. I ran to the store to get the things we’re missing for the party tonight, Jayden is with me.
I read it again and pinched my arm to make sure that I wasn’t dreaming, but the note was real. Relief flooded my body. I knew Ron and I still had a lot to talk about and it would have to begin with the fact that I desperately wanted to have a child of our own flesh and blood. I smiled as I thought of asking Ron if we could try again for kids, and decided to call our couple’s therapist to tell her that things were looking brighter for Ron and I.
- Excerpt #1, from my short story, Mommy (amandareimer.wordpress.com)
- Excerpt #2, from my short story, Mommy (amandareimer.wordpress.com)
- Excerpt #3, from my short story, Mommy (amandareimer.wordpress.com)